So get this. I spend my entire morning from wake to work fighting my way through at hazardous Montana blizzard being pelted with icy, evil flecks of snow completely sure that my entire day is now ruined solely due to unpredictable weather. So, I get off work, pick up my paycheck, run a few errands, go to the cafe for lunch, and then finally go around to the hospital to pay my outstanding fees. By the time I come out of the office after a fifteen minute wait behind some gothic kid with Marilyn Manson pouring out of his headphones and a disgruntled woman in a patel pantsuit (and I do not jest about these characters) what do I find outside? Sun. Burning down on the entire city, melting the fresh piles of snow into steaming pits that rise from the ground.
Its a miracle. Of course, now its past four o'clock so doing anything fun is quite unreasonable. If you know Montana, then you know what I'm talking about here. The gym is a possibility, seeing as I still have three hours until closing. But anyway...
Class ends tommorow. Well, my drama class anyway. I'm really dreading the art portion. But I'm very glad that drama is over. Now, don't get me wrong, I love drama. But I got stuck taking some lame fundamentals class, i.e. beginners. Which really bummed me out, but I had no other option. I really want to get into a playwriting course next fall. I'm dying to get my plays produced onto the stage. I'm really hoping I made a good impression on Larry to the extent that he may just make it happen.
Which reminds me. I've finally started the edit of the play I'm hoping to produce next fall if everything goes according to plan. I am in love with the play, its really come together quite...interestingly. I just hope its not too controversial for the likes of whomever shall be reading it over. I mean, my lit professor nearly had an aneurism when I presented it to him. Of course, he's a huge fan of Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac, so of course he would be more than enthusiatic about the content...but I'll just have to swing it I guess.
I completely forgot until just now. We're having a women's rights seminar at my university this coming week and I'm supposed to be in one of the performances of the Iraqi women's play. It should be really fun...as long as the stage manager calls me sometime soon. Eek.
Oh, and on a last note, I am now in love with Laura Marling's music, she is a gem. I stumbled upon it recently by chance and I'm liking what I'm hearing. Go look at her myspace.
Well, I can honestly say that the Midori concert last night was absolutely brilliant. Okay, I admit...I fell asleep about a half hour into the show, but it wasn't because I was bored. In all honesty I blame the hour and a half of working out before going that really did it. But luckily, intermission woke me up, so I was able to see the last half. But, seriously, it was really hard sitting through a two hour show when your but muscles are killing you. Damn my love affair with the eliptical machine!
And, it was totally embarrassing too, Jiabao dragged me out of the house before I could finish deciding on what to wear, so I ended up going to the concert in skinny jeans and an Abercrombie hoodie and flip flops. She was still wearing her work clothes, but lucky for her she was wearing her cute H&M sweater...And what is our luck? Nearly everyone was dressed up. Ugh, I made sure we sat in the back. There is nothing worse than being under or over dressed for an occassion. And why the hell was I wearing Abercrombie? If it wasn't enough public humiliation to be wearing my post-gym clothes...
Anyway, I can't seem to stress how impressed I was with the show. She played a lot of the classics, many I recognized, but then she just whipped out this really modern violin piece and I SWEAR everyone was on the edges of their seats. She was so Yoko Ono up there I could have died. She was flailing and plucking and swinging around...it was so magical...and the song! The song was amazing...but as soon as it was over she went back to being all stiff and classical...It was impressive, really.
And I cannot wait for Monday's gym session. I swear, I get cranky when I can't go to the gym...I sound like some kind of freak...but I've been picking really weird vices lately. But I guess being able to do something new, and something beneficial and somewhat social has been fairly good for me. And Angelika, the Ukranian woman that I work with has been coming with me, so we can Stair Master while we make fun of people and talk about cute lifeguards and how much ex boyfriends suck. Ah, I love her.
Anyway, I should probably call and see when I'm working tommorow so I can see whether or not I should go to sleep now, or stay up and watch Once, which I bought two weeks ago, and never bothered watching. But, i'll let you know how it goes when I finally crack it open.
Alright, alright. I know. I havent posted since March 16. I'm a loser. But I guess I had good reasoning...with the whole breakup that I thought would be okay, but turned out to be this big, ugly, huge disgusting montster that got way out of control and ate half of Tokyo...
It wasn't pretty, let me tell you. I guess that's why I haven't blogged, or even really written anything decent in a month. I just haven't had the motivation. But I'm back, over the whole ordeal, coming way out on top and I'm just more fabulous than ever. I really should swear off guys for awhile...I mean, I really could do it...
Okay, okay...so I went on a "sorta date" the other day. "Sorta date" as in we met for coffee, I got a cappuccino, he ordered nothing and we talked about Lomography and working out and Spoon...so overall it went well. Except I'm curious as to why a college football player is asking me out for a 'sorta date' in the first place. And why he texts me all throughout the day...its like, the Twilight Zone or something.
Oh, well, nevermind that. I'm getting ready for a concert tonight, going to see...Midori. She's like some 'semi-famous' violinist...sounds slightly promising. Rob at the record shop promised me it would be good, then suckered me into buying two tickets...I really should get over that girlish crush I have on him...Besides, I'd probably rather go to the gym and hop on the eliptical machine for a couple hours instead of sitting in a crowded theatre listening to classical music...alright, not that I don't appreciate it, I have thousands of classical albums in my collection...I just have to be in a really perspective mood to listen to it.
So, I've been frequenting the gym a lot lately. Its become my serious vice aside from Kimya Dawson and gummi bears since well...last month's ordeal. I love it though, everyone is so awesome there and I just love running for hours until I feel like I could die. And they have a seriously cute lifeguard (you can see the pool from the gym) that I can ogle at while I'm jogging. The only downside is the creepy guys who stare at me while I'm there...its just freaky.
Anyway, Jiabao is coming down the street, I can see her car, I really should head out for the concert...let's hope it keeps my attention.
Ah, its Nikki & the Corvettes finally! Took me ages to get a copy of their album on CD, I am just completely in love with them. Its hard to find late 70s girl rock that actually is woth a damn. But they are absolutely ADORABLE. And I was flipping through the leaflet and they are so cute it kills, mostly because of their outfits, shorts with strap heels and berets and the cutest haircuts. Come on, its awesome. They're kind of like the female version of the Ramones.
You wouldn't believe it, but the sun came out today. I thought this was some kind of good sign. I visited Dave today, actually I woke him up to tell him some idiotic story like always. He was pretty cool about it, but Jesus, its so awkward. It might take awhile to get back to being the Platonic Pair again...but whatever.
I'm just happy that its sunny and I've got great girl rock, and semi-plans this weekend. Holy shit, its Friday, I forgot! Augh, I have to work a double today, I hope the SDMB isn't there. Maybe the SDT will be there, at least he's bearable. But only bearable. I mean, I can only stand so many corny jokes before I feel like puking.
Well, someone finally cracked. Dave broke up with me yesterday, after two years. It was really, really devastating because he didn't say anything the entire time, everything was just normal and as soon as I was on my way out the door he blurted it out. I had some kind of idiotic panic attack and got mascara all over his shirt and then ran all the way home. I'm trying my hardest not to go over there and talk to him. But, I can't.
He's my best friend, which is even worse. So, I have pretty much nobody to talk to about it except my blog. Whatever, I'm getting better. I actually feel a lot better than I did this morning. I felt like I was being held underwater, and it sucked. Maybe he'll still talk to me, I mean I don't know what I'll do without being able to drag somebody to coffee at weird hours and watch my stupid movies with and talk about comic books.
He was really stressing the "I want to be your friend" crap. So, maybe I still have that, because I'm screwed otherwise. Today, I went searching through my phone book looking for people to do stuff with but its completely empty sans Maggie and Jiabao, who pretty much work whenever I'm off...and they don't speak English, and they hate coffee. This is really depressing.
I think this is why people are so crazy. I think this is the first breakup where I actually cared about the person. It was really scary, really really scary. Scary as in listening to Petula Clark albums on repeat for hours and hours kind of scary. I guess I kind of understand why people are so bitchy all the time. Ah, to relate to the world with our heartbreak.
Anyway, I've found some solid coping methods, such as watching the entire Beach Party film series. Nothing lifts my spirits better than Eric Von Zipper and the crazy groovy butt shaking dancing. Ah...and I went shopping on amazon.com and finally bought myself the Jack Kerouac collection on CD. I think that I kind of needed it at that point. I listened to all the tracks online and completely forgot how miserable I was. (He had the sexiest voice ever.)
Now, I'm completely obsessed with Hal Liffson's 1966 compilation. We'll see what the week brings now with my new obsessions and sudden change.
I swear, I'm going insane. Today I wanted nothing more than to lock myself behind a door and read for hours on end, and I would have to, if the world would have permitted it to be. I get so caught up in things like books that for the short duration that I read one (or five at a time) I become so completely absorbed in the story, the characters, that I really lose all sense of self. Its really amazing how much literature can affect me sometimes. I nearly go into comas after reading anything by Chuck Palahniuk, I sometimes go nearly frantic after reading Daniel Clowes...Its like being out of body I guess.
But I'm having an Enid day today. I locked myself up directly after getting home from work and cuddled up with a nice viewing of Ghost World. Its kind of like comfort food for me, except I don't eat a bunch of really gross food. I just sort of watch my life interpreted for film. It's amazing how alike the character Enid and I are. It scares me sometimes, but we pretty much have the same problems, the same creepy fetishes, and odd sense of style. Its incredible. And creepy. Should I take up a hobby? Make some friends?
That also hit me tonight, alone, reading under a lamp. Do I really have any social contact aside from work? Eek. I'm a total loner. I'm some kind of eccentric curiosity that people laugh upon. I'm a novelty for onlookers. Jesus. Maybe I just hate people or something. I really can't stand being around crowds of total idiotic morons.
And they are. I sometimes dread going to class in the morning because I feel like I'm somehow trasnported back to kindergarten, except nobody speaks Spanish and there aren't any H.R. Pufnstuff references. But these people are in an age range from 18-30 and they act like total degenerate losers. I seriously swear that they poke, and giggle and run around the classroom. Sometimes, I wonder if I was accidentally put in special ed or something. They're a bunch of remedial fuckups and losers.
I hate it. I hate that I can't relate to a single goddam person in my own generation.
This week is dragging on so badly. I'm just dying. Sometimes, holiday breaks really suck. But, it gives me an opportunity to sleep constantly and shop for pointless things on Amazon. And who doesn't appreciate that?
I saw Dave yesterday. Well, actually I went and visited him at his apartment. He was less than enthusiastic, even though I brought him a ton of sci-fi to keep him busy on his day off. Despite how nice and thoughtful I can be, I don't think people really ever truly appreciate my efforts. Whatever, he's just oblivious I suppose. Maybe its all the pot smoke inhilation.
I decided to focus my interest on things other than men, well, aside from David Bowie and Nick Drake and all my other 70s icon infatuations. But, I really need to get out once in awhile. Work keeps me confined in this town, and making leaving near to impossible. Plus there isn't anyone who would go on an adventure with me. Apparently nobody likes roadtrips.
Speaking of roadtrips. I'm trying to get my way into one this summer. To the homeland. I really need to get back there and regain my native tongue, and see everyone important. Ah, that would be amazing. I can't wait for summer. We're kind of on the verge of spring right now, but I'm just squirming around waiting for the sun to come out.
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